Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Leaving Ceremony at the Zen Center and Amma's blessings

Hello All:

I am already in Paris, jet lagged and strugling with this european keyboard, they say. The letters are in weird places; like the "a" is above "k" and "m" under the right little finger, next to "l". I am sure I will get used to it............

I already have tales to tell about Paris, but I wanted to keep this log chronologically, so I will go back a few weeks and copy a few excerpts from my journal:

San Ramon-Sunday June 9th, 2002

My leaving ceremony at the Zen Center was last Friday. When we left the Zendo and were about to enter the Buddha Hall for morning service, my teacher Michael Wenger asked me: -What will you seek while you are gone? He had just spoke about the vastness of the world both inside and outside during zazen (meditation). "I will seek the vastness of the world both inside and outside" I said feeling pretty good about my answer. Michael shook his head quietly with a half smile as we both entered the Buddha Hall.

Yesterday I saw Amma (my guru) for the first time since last November. When I was approaching her for her darshan(blessings)I asked her mentally to guide me on how I could give back so many gifts I have received. After being with her just a few seconds, I sat quietly and felt a sweet pressure in my chest, my heart, my soul. Tears started to roll down from underneath my glasses down my cheeks. This is unusual for me, to cry...It felt like she tansmitted me a lot of shakti (divine energy) with her blessings. I felt so peacefull the rest of the day.

I received so many blessings from all of you. I don't even know how to express my gratitude.

The world is vast and wide. I will seek its vastness both inside and outside.

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